Yeah, you read that right.
I'm going to be a woman!
Today over at Theta Mom, a wonderful community I'm part of, her topic was Are we Women or Mothers First?
My current answer really makes me upset. While other woman contemplated which one they were more of, I knew my answer without even thinking.
I’m a Mother first. The reason I didn’t even have to think about it was I don’t even feel like a woman at all anymore.
This thought literally makes me tear up.
How did I let it get this far? I mean, I know I want to be the best Mom possible, but aren’t I supposed to take care of myself too?
I barely shower these days. I never shave my legs. I love painted toes and I haven’t done that since October. I don’t by myself new clothes, even though I desperately need new things as I’m still up a bit on weight from my pregnancy. I never wear makeup. (To be fair, I never really did that anyway.) I eat HORRIBLE. I spend hardly any time doing anything that I used to before Rosemary like reading or exercising. I used to read on average a book a week, I haven’t read one page since I had Rosemary. The list could go on and on, but you get the point. Once I became a Mother, I stopped being a woman.
Periodically over the past few months I’ve noticed this and promised myself I’d do something to change it. I haven’t.
Now, I don’t want you to think I blame Rosemary one bit for my lack of being a “woman”. This is my own fault. I just stopped caring for some reason. I got busy and being a Mom seemed to be enough. It's not.
What I failed to recognize is that to be a better mother, I think I need to be a woman too. I NEED to start taking care of myself. Even my husband has been encouraging me to do things to make me feel better about whom I am as a woman. For Christmas he spent all this money to get me this great spa package that includes an hour massage, a pedicure, a manicure and a facial. I haven’t even though to make the appointment yet. I also mentioned about a month ago that I wanted to get my hair cut and colored to look nice, and he was all for that too. I still haven’t called on that either.
Well, enough is enough. I’m going to get all of my needs and wants as a woman out there and let you, my readers, hold me accountable for finally taking action! I’m going to start small and make my way into being a woman again!
How silly that sounds. Yes, I’m going to become a woman!
1. Shave my legs. First things first, right? At least summer is arriving an I know this is one area that I'll have to start up with.
2. Make that appointment to get my (already paid for) massage, manicure, pedicure, facial. I probably won’t do this all at one visit, but I’m going to call and schedule at least one of these to be done in May.
3. Find a hair stylist and call to make an appointment on getting my hair cut and colored. Did I mention I haven’t colored my hair since Aug 08 before my wedding in Nov 08? I got pregnant a month after my wedding so I couldn’t (well, I chose not to) during the pregnancy. Now I have a six month old and I still haven’t gotten it done. I haven’t even had a cut since Aug 09 before the baby.
4. Get my eyebrows waxed. I love having this done. Not the actual process, but how it looks after. It's one of those things that just makes me feel better about the way I look.
5. Buy a new dress this month. I actually need a new one for a wedding I’m doing a reading in on June5th and then for Rosemary’s Baptism June 27th. So this is easily justified financially too.
6. Buy new shoes. Now, I did recently buy new tennis shoes just last week, (mine had huge holes in them and my husband told me I looked homeless) but I’m talking pretty shoes. It’s been years since I bought cute shoes just because. Years.
7. Buy three new books and read them. Any suggestions? I love chick lit the most for fast reads, but I enjoy other subjects as well.
8. Buy one whole outfit for going out and maybe a few real shirts. Not pajamas! All I wear is pj pants and t shirts. I need to get something that’s going to make me feel beautiful when I go out. Not like a Mom who throws on an over sized sweater and baggy jeans when she’s running to get the diapers.
9. Exercise twice a week. I know this should probably say three times, but I'm going with baby steps here. I have an elliptical downstairs, I need to get moving! At least summer is here and I'll also be taking Rosemary and the dog for walks. Fresh air does wonders for my mood as well.
10. I'm going to get fully dressed by 8am (including hair) twice a week. This one is going to be rough. I hardly ever do my hair yet alone by 8am!
Anything else you can think of that I’m missing?
I’ll of course document my makeover, and photograph for everyone as I go through my list. I feel better just writing this down finally. I’m going to make this happen. Now, it may not be overnight as some if this is costly (sorry husband) but I’m going to do this all by the end of August! That’s four months.
I can do this.
I WILL be a woman again! Happy Mother's Day to me!