Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm Going to be a Woman!

Yeah, you read that right.

I'm going to be a woman!

Today over at Theta Mom, a wonderful community I'm part of, her topic was Are we Women or Mothers First?

My current answer really makes me upset. While other woman contemplated which one they were more of, I knew my answer without even thinking.

I’m a Mother first. The reason I didn’t even have to think about it was I don’t even feel like a woman at all anymore.

This thought literally makes me tear up.

How did I let it get this far? I mean, I know I want to be the best Mom possible, but aren’t I supposed to take care of myself too?

I barely shower these days. I never shave my legs. I love painted toes and I haven’t done that since October. I don’t by myself new clothes, even though I desperately need new things as I’m still up a bit on weight from my pregnancy. I never wear makeup. (To be fair, I never really did that anyway.) I eat HORRIBLE. I spend hardly any time doing anything that I used to before Rosemary like reading or exercising. I used to read on average a book a week, I haven’t read one page since I had Rosemary. The list could go on and on, but you get the point. Once I became a Mother, I stopped being a woman.

Periodically over the past few months I’ve noticed this and promised myself I’d do something to change it. I haven’t.

Now, I don’t want you to think I blame Rosemary one bit for my lack of being a “woman”. This is my own fault. I just stopped caring for some reason. I got busy and being a Mom seemed to be enough. It's not.

What I failed to recognize is that to be a better mother, I think I need to be a woman too. I NEED to start taking care of myself. Even my husband has been encouraging me to do things to make me feel better about whom I am as a woman. For Christmas he spent all this money to get me this great spa package that includes an hour massage, a pedicure, a manicure and a facial. I haven’t even though to make the appointment yet. I also mentioned about a month ago that I wanted to get my hair cut and colored to look nice, and he was all for that too. I still haven’t called on that either.

Well, enough is enough. I’m going to get all of my needs and wants as a woman out there and let you, my readers, hold me accountable for finally taking action! I’m going to start small and make my way into being a woman again!

How silly that sounds. Yes, I’m going to become a woman!

My list:

1. Shave my legs. First things first, right? At least summer is arriving an I know this is one area that I'll have to start up with.

2. Make that appointment to get my (already paid for) massage, manicure, pedicure, facial. I probably won’t do this all at one visit, but I’m going to call and schedule at least one of these to be done in May.

3. Find a hair stylist and call to make an appointment on getting my hair cut and colored. Did I mention I haven’t colored my hair since Aug 08 before my wedding in Nov 08? I got pregnant a month after my wedding so I couldn’t (well, I chose not to) during the pregnancy. Now I have a six month old and I still haven’t gotten it done. I haven’t even had a cut since Aug 09 before the baby.

4. Get my eyebrows waxed. I love having this done. Not the actual process, but how it looks after. It's one of those things that just makes me feel better about the way I look.

5. Buy a new dress this month. I actually need a new one for a wedding I’m doing a reading in on June5th and then for Rosemary’s Baptism June 27th. So this is easily justified financially too.

6. Buy new shoes. Now, I did recently buy new tennis shoes just last week, (mine had huge holes in them and my husband told me I looked homeless) but I’m talking pretty shoes. It’s been years since I bought cute shoes just because. Years.

7. Buy three new books and read them. Any suggestions? I love chick lit the most for fast reads, but I enjoy other subjects as well.

8. Buy one whole outfit for going out and maybe a few real shirts. Not pajamas! All I wear is pj pants and t shirts. I need to get something that’s going to make me feel beautiful when I go out. Not like a Mom who throws on an over sized sweater and baggy jeans when she’s running to get the diapers.

9. Exercise twice a week. I know this should probably say three times, but I'm going with baby steps here. I have an elliptical downstairs, I need to get moving! At least summer is here and I'll also be taking Rosemary and the dog for walks. Fresh air does wonders for my mood as well.

10. I'm going to get fully dressed by 8am (including hair) twice a week. This one is going to be rough. I hardly ever do my hair yet alone by 8am!

Anything else you can think of that I’m missing?

I’ll of course document my makeover, and photograph for everyone as I go through my list. I feel better just writing this down finally. I’m going to make this happen. Now, it may not be overnight as some if this is costly (sorry husband) but I’m going to do this all by the end of August! That’s four months.

I can do this.

I WILL be a woman again! Happy Mother's Day to me!


  1. I think that's a great goal! Definitely go for it- it's important to take care of yourself too! Enjoy your spa package :)

  2. I am in the same boat. I just got my hair cut and highlights for the first time since I found out I was pregnant - it used to be long (bra-strap length) and I always wore it in a ponytail. Now its chin length and if I can force it into a ponytail its about 1 inch long. It was such a pick me up! It also forces me to actually fix it in the morning. To bad you don't live in the south - I could use a buddy to force me to do a lot of the things on your list. I have an author recommendation for you (I love various types of chick lit) I am reading Chesapeake Diaries by Mariah Stewart (some romance and FBI thriller).

    Take care of yourself so that you feel better. Rosemary will be happier because you will be happier.

  3. I found myself nodding in agreement with this post more times than I care to admit. It's so easy to try to just take pride in being a Mom and let everything go. In all honesty it's not enough to just be a mom.
    I can't wait to see you conquer each of these goals and I really feel like joining in with you. (It's going to take 6 razor blades to catch things up!)

  4. I LOVE this post - and I am so glad that you were inspired by the disucsiso enough to write about your own experience.

    "What I failed to recognize is that to be a better mother, I think I need to be a woman too." Absolutely! Of course our children need us and we will be there for them BUT I know myself, I am a better mother when I have all of my needs met as well - and sometimes, that means taking some "me" time to recharge the battery!

    Good for you - and I am so happy to connect with you. Following and look forward to blogging with you!

    Happy Mother's Day!!!

  5. Great list - I might use some of it for myself. Can't wait to see the before and after pics - you're brave for that one.

    I was with you all the way down your list UNTIL you got to #10 - Get dressed and do hair by 8AM. Just checked the's 7:45AM.. have not showered, in my PJs, yearning for some coffee... NOPE, I don't think I could ever do it. Hope you can!

    Have a wonderful Mother's Day!!!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and taking my poll. Every email and positive comment helps.

    My Wonderfully Dysfunctional Blog

  6. Hi! I am following you on Twitter from Twitter Hop Thursday.

  7. Good for you Christine!! It's a great idea. You've got me thinking about it too. I've tried so many times to "Be a Woman" and I soon find myself in the Mommy rut again.

    Happy Mother's Day!

    And give Jim a pat on the back from me. What a good man, encouraging his wife to do things and feel beautiful for HERSELF.

  8. What a great plan!
    I can't wait to hear all about your journey to finding your inner woman. :)

  9. Thats a really great list! I find that I too wear PJ quite a bit these days, but I try and get dressed 5 out of the 7. That means I stay in PJs at least 2 days during the week and I'm OK with that. I'm a stay at home mom and there is no need to dress up to clean. However I am trying to get up at 6-7 and get this done and not wait to dress until 10am. haha

    I'm totally feeling ya here. It's so nice to be a woman. Though when I did read your first question, my response would have been woman THEN mother. Why... I think it's because I have a boy and I'm the only girl in the house (that helps) :)

  10. I can so relate to this post! Since I had kids I just feel like I've gone all to pieces. However, I did buy myself two new dresses a few weeks ago and then got a great haircut last week. I just have been feeling so dawdy, it wasn't good. I feel much better now. I still must get myself in shape though, I feel blah with even a few extra pounds. We are women, we should feel like one!

  11. Can I have a copy of your list, I need to do much of the same:)

  12. You definitely should do that--all of it!!! It is hard as moms and we often put ourselves last but it is so important to do things for yourself. I can't wait to see pictures of the new hairdo!

    I am currently reading "The Time Traveler's Wife" and loving it!!!!

  13. Christine, quick post to wish you a very wonderful 1st Mother's Day. I have been thinking about you and how special this weekend is for you. Relish in your family and enjoy every moment.

  14. Ah what a wonderful post! I hope you have a happy mother's day!!

    (found you through D-List)
    Devan @ Accustomed Chaos

  15. Awesome list! Good luck!

    Also, found you through D-Listed.
    Jenn @ three pugs & a baby

  16. Sounds like a wonderful plan. I think I have to jump on that band wagon. You know I haven't really worn a pair of heels since I was 3 or 4 months pregnant! Ack!

    I found you through D-List also. Seems we are featured blogs today ;)

    Rachel @ Anya's Room

  17. oh good for you! It's so easy to forget about ourselves and concentrate of everyone else in the family.

    chick-lit- I love Meg Cabot for light, fun reading! one of my favorite book's of all time is Blessed are the cheesemakers, I did a book review it on my blog, you can do a search on my blog for it -there's a search box. I also loved Revenge of the Middle aged woman, and I love the "Miss Julia" series by Ross, a little different but fun, Miss Julia rocks- for an old lady!

    can you tell I love to read?!
    your blog design is beautiful, by the way!

  18. Good for you! You deserve it too!
    I sat in on a talk not too long ago in which the speaker discussed our roles as women and mothers. She told a story of a women who spent an entire hour, each and every morning, in front of the mirror - putting on makeup, doing her hair, etc. After a comment from her own Mother about her being vain, she replied, "I spend an hour in the morning taking care of myself so that I can spend the rest of the day taking care of others." I think it's necessary! It's good to look nice because we represent our families. Plus, if I spend the day looking frumpy, I feel frumpy.

  19. This made me cry....but you know what you are a great mom. You have some great goals and I know you will accomplish them!!!

  20. Love the goals - trying to do a couple of self-esteem adjustments as well. At some point I will cut the hair. And exercise better (as in, actual routine versus just walks).

  21. Thank you so much everyone! Your kind words and encouragement mean so much to me!! Seriously, they really do.

    I look forward to taking better care of myself and I'd encourage anyone else that's like me to do the same!!

    Feel free to use my list or let me know if you think of some other great ways to take better care of ourselves.

    Thanks again everyone!

  22. i read theta mom's post too, and i loved the variety of responses she got. i'm in the "woman first" camp; i really believe that i can't be a great mother unless i'm willing to put myself first, at least part of the time. i think it's great that you're making goals and i look forward to hearing about your progress!